When one part of your life is going well...

...the saying goes that another part of your life is suffering.

Tonight i feel like shit. I'm happy that i walked from the local train station to the gym (a hilly 6km) and worked my ass off there for about 90 minutes then walked another couple of kilometers home but tonight i worked superhard at the gym because all that was going on in my head is how much of a shit of day i had at work. Throughout my sets i had a fuel driving me on to push harder because work these days is just not the same anymore. I was thrown in the deep end and forced to learn on the job and i have a pretty good idea of things but as soon as i think i may have a handle on this job, i stuff up...again.

I'm being swamped with accounts that i barely have an idea how they work. I'm making mistakes that i shouldn't be but i'm trying not to fuck up so much i put so much pressure on myself that i fuck up anyway. I'm only a temp and i want to stay on and maybe i'm making more out of it than it is but the fact is i'm feeling tired and mentally exhausted tonight.

I'm concerntrating so much at work looking at faxes and computer screens all day that my eyes have been really sore the past couple weeks. I'm getting my eyes tested on Friday as i'm due for a checkup but they just can't concertrate as much on a screen as they used to and maybe that's affecting the amount of mistakes i'm making.

I hope to stay there past April 30 because its a decent job for what i could get and in March i can finally start saving for another adventure but right now it seemsd like the furtherest thing in the work. I'm going through a rough patch at home because i'm putting too much pressure on myself even though i'm trying not to.

One part of my life sucks at the moment and that means i suck at the moment.

I don't like this feeling.