Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Knowing yourself.

My babies..who are now 11 and 10. Man they grow up so fast!

Today i was thinking about just how my life has panned out since i got back and i must say it has been a very positive experience being back home and it has allowed me to reflect on where i have been and where i want to go in the near future. Now when i mean reflect i don't mean my usual "analyse from every perceivable angle" but just take a few moments to realise that being back at home has been getting better by the day. I celebrated Christmas, New Year, my birthday and was able to be part of the buildup to the wonderful wedding of Chris and Narelle.

By the way these are my Aunty's kids in the pic...

I looked back some of my updates since i got back and i know i suffered from reverse culture shock but i'm way over that now. I am looking forward to travelling again but i don't have the feeling that my time will pass if i don't get out straight away. My determination to travel is still at 100% but the desperation to get out has slowly been overcome by the feeling of patience. I know what i have to do to travel again and i know where i want to go and the feelings of getting ready to organise another trip away are slowly starting to come to the surface.

I was in a book store (there's something new) and i saw the Lonely Planet Guide to Europe. As i walked past it i thought to myself "Not just yet..not just yet" where as a couple of months ago i wouldn't even have looked at which is a good thing. The feeling i'm having now is a feeling of transition. A feeling of letting go of the adventures and the life i had in Asia for 2 1/2 years but holding onto the memories and friendships. Today i found myself looking toward the future again and thinking that i have a huge mountain to climb before i get to travel again but i know in a few weeks i'll start to get ideas into place for my next adventure.

My time back home has given me that buffer between my time away and my next adventure. Just by being with my family has made me realise that home will never change and while i thought that was the worst thing that could happen when i got back, i now know it is the best feeling ever because my family and the love and admiration we have for each other will never change. Last Sunday was my Aunty Laurell's birthday party. Her actual birthday was a week before but it fell the day before the wedding so we decided to delay the party. I picked her up from Werribee (which is about 35 mins drive from home) and we had a lovely chat in the car. I'm pretty lucky in the fact that i can talk to everyone in my family and know that i have no reason not to be honest and direct without the discussion boiling over.

Throughout the time i have been back and the numerous parties we have had for a little while i felt out of place because i had the opportunity to experience such wonderful things that i didn't know how i would fit in. I'm 28 but i'm still one of the kids of the family and even though when i got back i wanted to get rid of that tag i now know i don't want to. I love sitting with my Grans and Aunties having a cup of tea and just talking about whatever comes to our heads. It was sitting at the table out the back on a sunny Sunday afternoon that i realised that any feelings of culture shock, uncomfortableness ( i know i've spelt that wrong) and confusion in myself in terms of my life were gone. I'm not back in Melbourne biding my time but slowly working towards my next goal.

Replacing those feelings were happiness to be with my family, confidence in my decisions in the near future and the knowledge that when i am ready to plan for my next adventure, i'll be doing it not to continue on from the adventure that had just finished but begin afresh with a blank canvas and once again fill it with new memories and experiences.

I'm feeling pretty good...but i'm not ready...yet.

She's a hard one to find!!

Ahh the early 90's. Fashion sure was at its peak. I still love her though.

The search for Belinda Carlisle's new album has been harder than i thought. I visited my local record store last week yet there were only a couple copies of her very poor so called "Best of" albums.

During the week i have been starting later in the day so i went to my local mega mall and searched the records stores for no success.

Until...

Once again my gorgeous godmother Auntry Rhonda was in the city and messaged me that she was in town for a meeting and would check out the stores in the city to see if there are any copies left. She managed to pick up sone of the only three copies in a chain of stores that has about 30 stores in Melbourne,

So come saturday when i drop off some DVD's to Aunty i'll finally get the chance to sit down and have Belinda serenade me in French.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Heaven on Earth

Everyone has childhood crushes. Some last a moment, a week, a month or even a year but my childhood crush has lasted about 18 years. It wasn't some girl at school who really took my fancy before i even know what took my fancy meant. It wasn't some girl who i met outside of school. Come to think of it there was one girl i never met but i remember seeing in this distance at a swimming pool on summer holidays. My family was holidaying up the north of Victoria (Yarrawonga to be exact) when whilst walking towards the pool for a swim i saw this girl on the top of the diving board. I must have been about 10 and i'm thinking she was 12.

The sun was setting behind her and she was wearing a white shirt that just seemed to make her look angelic. She dived in and i was breathtaken by that image. I can still see this girl on top of the divingboard about to jump in. For those few seconds time stood still. I must admit (as you all know i'm sure) that moments like that don't come along very often where time stands still. Childhood crushes can be silly things but they leave an indeliable mark on your adult perspective.

My childhood crush has been and always will be Belinda Carlisle.

I've loved her since i was about 10. When i first heard "Heaven is a place on Earth" i just loved that song and i wanted to find out who was the person who sang with that amazing voice. One night whilst watching MTV Australia (which at the time was a 3 hour show on a Saturday night) i remember seeing this music video and thinking..."She is sooo beautiful." (Remember i was 10 years old on the floor in front of the TV just amazed at these images on my screen)

Here's the video in question:




When i first saw this video i was in love. There was something about her voice, her eyes, the way she looked at the camera as if she was singing to me and me only. So througout my teenage years where supposidly your musical interests vary and you find what music appeals to you i found out that Belinda's music still makes me smile inside even now 18 years after i first heard it. Sure i may be not be a musical powerhouse and i don't follow the latest trends in music a lot but that's me for better or worse. Belinda was left such an impression that when i heard that she was coming to Australia a few years ago for a 80's concert i leapt at the chance to see her. Sab came with me and i must say it was one of the best concerts i've ever been to. Not only because of the music but because i finally got to see Belinda sing live. I was in heaven that night even though Sab commented "Is she pregnant?" as Belinda came on stage that night.

Which leads me to today. I worked today so i had yesterday off which means at work there are about 50 emails waiting to be read. One of them was from my lovely Aunty Rhonda who in a one line email got me so excited i had to read the message again:

Is it Belinda Carlisle that you love? If so, she has a new cd out called Voila. If not, forget about this email.

I was shocked. Not by Aunty Rhonda knowing i love Belinda, that's an open secret in my family. Belinda hasn't released an album in over 10 years. This was monumental in my universe. She did a Johnny Depp and moved to France! She got away from the pressures of living in America and all the stories of drugs and weight problems. She got away from her solo career being compared to her career with the girl band the "Go-Go's." Searching on Google whilst at work i found out her new record is entirely sung in French! So needless to say i'll be off to JB Hi-Fi in the morning to see if it is avaliable and if i do get the chance to catch a few seconds alone with Belinda serenading me then i'll know my childhood crush will last a few years longer.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Welcome to Rockyland!

Rocky Balboa. Cinematic Icon.

About 15 minutes ago i arrived home from my local cinema (Hoyts @ Highpoint) where i have seen many groundbreaking films ranging from the first Batman film, Forrest Gump, Casino and i have even seen a punchup in the cinema between a couple of patrons during the screening of 'Kindergarten Cop' but tonight was a special night for me at the local cinema.

I must admit you the readers do not appreciate how much i love the Rocky Balboa films. Sure i've talked about them and seen them all many times before but you don't understand how much i really enjoy the films and how they tie into my life and the memories they have given me. When i think about the Rocky films i think about Michael and Daniel, my two good mates who have an equal love for the films as i do. Since we are all fans of Stallone's films (yes even such classics as 'Oscar' and 'Copland') tonight was a special night as it was the first time we had all gone to see a Rocky film together.

It's with 100% certainty that if the three of us get a few drinks into us then one of us will pull out an obscue Rocky quote which will lead to another and another and the conversation will snowball from there. These films about a boxer whose speech is slurred yet somehow manages to conquer the odds no matter how impossible they are have been one of the conerstones of the friendship between the three of us. Sure i had already seen the film 4 times already at home (thanks to a bloke at work and his access to recently released movies) and i knew what was going to happen but when that Rocky music started playing and the training sequence hit the screen, the half full cinema semi-clapped because they knew as i did, what they were seeing was in reality an impossibility yet the film still managed to make you think with your heart and not your head.

I had watched the 5 previous films in 2 weeks because I felt i had to watch them again to be prepared to march into the cinema and know exactly what was going on. This film showed Rocky more as a man rather than the superhuman protein enhanced genetic freak that is the conerstone of Rocky's III and IV. The three of us were sitting there having a few drinks in the cinema and just glued by what was going on in front of us on the big screen. To those who think Sylvester Stallone is a one dimensional actor you are wrong. OK granted he's no Lawrence Olivier, Robert DeNiro or Merryl Streep ( anyone who can go from Kramer vs. Kramer to Evil Angels deserves a mention) yet with the Rocky films Stallone knows what works for him and after the commercial and critical failure of Rocky V he knew this time around that all the people that watch the film want is the chance to enjoy the story of a man against the odds.

And everyone loves an underdog.

By the end of the film the feeling that the impossible was possible once again filled my sences and i was just thankful that i had the chance to see the final chapter of a 30 year cinematic journey on the big screen.

I was happy that i got the chance to see it with my friends.

Monday, February 19, 2007

A perfect day (Photos to come in the next few days)

"Time goes by...so slowly"
"Time goes by...so slowly"

If any lyrics to a relationship could tell a story, these words would describe the relationship between Chris and Narelle.

Sunday was the wedding we had all waited a decade for and I'm going to state this right now.

Sunday was one of the happiest days of my life.

The day started with me under an alcoholic fitness cloud from Stav's 30th birthday the night before yet the whole family made its way down to St. Martins Church to pray for a nice day ahead and also pray for a change in the weather as the temperature on Sunday was a pleasant 38 degrees with winds but a late change was expected. With that forecast, the desire to wear my very handsome tailor made suit wavered a little but i put the strongest B.O. spray on me that's legal in the Australia market (one step below liquid nitrogen) and hoped with the 4.p.m. start to the ceremony that the cool change will have made it over the beautiful St. Kilda Botanical Garderns.

For someone who was about to celebrate one of the most important days of his life, Chris was very relaxed. Today was the start of a journey as a married couple yet after being together for 10 years the wedding was more of a confirmation of their love for each other than a step into the unknown. After the family got back from church, mum was getting her hair done at the local hairdresser (who was nice enough to open the store just for mum) whilst Chris and myself started playing Guitar Hero on Playstation 2. Man that game is so addictive!! Dad made a nice bacon and egg (i had bacon and sausage) rolls for brekky and the three of us actually found some time to sit on the couch and watch a bit of the cricket.

A little later in the morning Chris' best mate (whose name is also Chris..for this update he'll be known as Chris M) and co best man made his way around. The three of us sat on the couch, watched more cricket and as the minutes went by the atmosphere in the house was starting to build. Mum came home and looked fabulous then was off again to get her makeup done. I had to run over to Narelle's house to get something for the flowers (mum did the flowers with her friend Jenny and they just looked so amazing. My mum is a genuis when it comes to flowers) as they were getting their makeup done much to the dissapointment of Chris who wanted to get one quick look at the bride to be.

About lunchtime the photographer came as i was still getting changed into my suit and i must say that suit felt like gold on me and i just love it. I looked the best i have for a long long time and i was really going to have a blast on this special day. After many photographs around the house it was time for me, Chris, Chris M, Dad and Narelle's sisters husband Davide (he's from Italy so the e stays on the end of the name) to squeeze into his car for the journey down to the St. Kilda Botanical Gardens. It waqs bloody hot in that car with 5 guys squashed in it but we made it and despite the drought and a stinking hot day, the Rose Garden looked sensational and it was a beautiful setting for this beautiful wedding.

At this time i have to say that Chris has found a wonderful wonderful wife in Narelle. They compliment each other so well and she is a pleasure to be around. I said in my speech which i don't know how i got one out considering it was so bloody hard to come up with the words that as individuals they are fantastic yet as a couple they are amazing and that everyone of the guests was so glad to have these two wonderful people in their lives. It really was magical to see the pure joy in Chris' face as Narelle walked down the isle (with a Norah Jones song playing i'm pretty sure) looking absolutely stunning. It's hard to describe what i felt actually except pure joy. The setting was perfect, the crowd were all waiting as Narelle and her sisters (Karen and Belinda) came to the gardens in a white Rolls Royce and all i can say about the ceremony is...perfect.

After the ceremony it wa time for hundreds of photos around the park and at the beach where the sight of a wedding party making its way between hoards of hairy guys in budgie-smugglers and kids eating ice creams from the Mr Whippy van with no clothes on (oh those days are long gone for me sadly) was a sight to behold and luckily just as we got back inside the reception centre, the rain started tumbpling tumbling down. There were about 90 guests at the reception and our great mate and ex next door neighbour Leigh had the honour of introducing the bridal party to the group. When my turn came up, i was introduced as follows "and with Karen is Mark 'The Love Machine' Pepper..and yes ladies..he's single).....bloody smartass. It was all in good fun though and now all those 90 people know me now as "The Love Machine."

The food and ther service was sensational at the fantastic Sails by the Bay on Elwood Beach (yes it was on the beach with a beautiful view over Port Phillip Bay). After the introductions and the entree the speeches were given and a lot of people have said they were the best speeches they have heard at a wedding. I'll try and get some clips of the day in the near future. The rest of the food was sensational and the dancefloor was full all night long. The band were sensational and the singer was so good, a few people thought there was a CD playing instead of someone singing. One of Chris' footy mates danced with my Gran and a little later on (due to fatigue and alcohol) Chris and I did a bit of a brokeback dance for no reason whatsoever. Chris also took centre stage and belted out a couple of his favourite numbers; those being "Crocodile Rock" and "Mustang Sally." Narelle was walking around chatting with everyone and i caught her seeing her new husband on stage singing away to the crowd and the look on her face said "That's my man!"

The night was filled with so much laughter and happiness and before i knew it it was midnight and time to finish up. I had the most wonderful day and i was so glad that every little detail of the planning worked to perfection. Months and months of planning went into the day and even though there were times where it seemed that something wouldn't work out right the day went off without a hitch.

As i said....a perfect day.

Happy Chinese New Year!!!!

Here are my predictions for my 2007 China style!

Happy Birthday Stav!

Happy Birthday Stav. A warm night, a cold pint and a good ol' chat.

On Saturday night i ventured down to the lovely bayside suburb of Port Melbourne to celebrate my good mate Stav's 30th birthday. I met Stav at uni during my course and i can honestly say he is one of the most genuine blokes on the planet. He is a fantastic mate and a pleasure to be around. He's always a welcome addition any time at our house and his love for football can only be matched by his love for wrestling and Chicken Parmas.

We have a bit of a barney about our footy teams now and then (basically we tell each other how shit the teams we follow are) but we always have a good laugh when we catch up. It was a warm night on Saturday as i made my way down to the 'Local' yet i was the first one there which is good cause Stav wa already there and we had a nice quiet pint together and had a good chat about the ahrd issues in life...that's code for we talked about how shit our footy teams are.

The night was filled with more of Stav's mates including a uni mate who i hadn't seen since i finished at Vic Uni. It was a fantastic night yet after about 7 beers and a couple of bourbons, i had to pull the plug on the night as i had to get to bed for the wedding of the century the next day. On the way home the taxi driver tried to rip me off by asking $50 for a fare that usually costs $35. I got the price down to $35 but he drove like a dickhead as a result. I got out on the main road and walked 10 mins to my house and fell into bed a little seedy about 1a.m. sunday.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I have to get a couple things off my Chest

I hope you all had a nice Valentine's Day wherever you are in the world and that you got spoilt by your loved one. Valentine's Day is a nice day but i beleive one day isn't enough to show ones love for your partner but more on that well....not in this update.

Anyways Valentine's Day started off as another day here in Melbourne. I got up, got ready for work, got on the train into the city..blah blah blah. All i think about at work is getting out of work and heading to the gym to exercise my guts off later in the night. Just so you know nothing romantic is in this story...c'mon people...this is me you are talking about. The guy who upon seeing a girl he sort of liked in Primary School at a bar whilst i was in Uni and the first thing i said to her after not seeing her for about 12 years was "I remember inviting you to my grade one birthday party!" I've always been so smoooth with the ladies...

In one of the strangest injuries ever to come anywhere near my person whilst running on the treadmill again tonight i felt a strange sensation on my chest. It wasn't heart related by the way.Now i have been working out the hardest i have ever trained in my life the past 6 weeks and the results are showing but this time around i had to stop halfway through my 5km run on the treadmill.

I was setting a good pace and looking to run the 5km in about 30-31 mins when about the 17 min mark my nipples started to get sore. Obviously with the running motion my boozies are going up and down faster than what they are used to. With this fast boozie motion and the rubbing of them up against my shirt i was not expecting this type of setback. Maybe a tinge in the hamstring or calf but not my man boobs! I was trying to run through it but it got too sore and i had to stop about 3kms in.

I haven't felt a discomfort like that before and now i have to Vasaline my nips before i go to the gym. Next thing you know its ice...Showgirls style but let's not go there.

On slightly less disgusting matters the Pepper household is counting down the days till Sunday at 4p.m. The weather for the lovely outdoor wedding in the lovely Rose Garden will be avery comfortable 38 Degrees!!! It's going to be a stinker this weekend in Mebourne but i'll be wearing the strongest deodourant short of Liquid Nitrogen.

I'm really looking forward to the day and i have Monday off which is nice. I feel like going out tomorrow night but i'll see how the other guys feel about a night at the local 80's night. Saturday I have Stav's (or as my brother calls him "The Late Night Lamb Sandwhich" - he's Greek) 30th birthday and i may head down to the shopping centre and get a couple nice shirts to wear as my stocks are running low (because they are getting too big wooooohoooo!!!) and i got paid today which helps.

Oh thank god for payday :)

Sunday, February 11, 2007

28 --- It Sounds so Grown Up...

With Gran (my Dad's Mum) and Nana (my Mum's Mum) last night. Bless them.

Yesterday i turned 28 years old and i'm not sure i feel 28 at the moment. For my 26th birthday i celebrated on a beach in Koh Phangan and my 27th was celebrated going up to guys in Lan Kwai Fong asking them wheres the best place to meet guys. So with my 28th birthday yesterday being the first one i have celebrated at home in three years it felt a little wierd to be celebrating it back at home rather than in a faraway place somewhere on the planet.

As i worked last Sunday i had friday off and between eye exams and haircuts i received a visit from the postman where a package with the Hong Kong Post logo landed at my front door. Inside were various gifts and trinkets from the wonderful Candace and beautiful Martine (including a couple bits of clothing i forgot in Honkers) and i had a smile from ear to ear. I had a few freinds over friday night and we all just sat out the back and had a couple of pizzas and a few drinks and plenty of laughs. With the wedding next week i didn't want to have a big one (i didn't feel like it anyway) plus i don't think my birthday is anything special really..it's just another day.


The birthday boy with bride and bridegroom to be.

After the mates left friday night i rang in my birthday with a call from Sab. I couldn't really hear her as she was at a bar somewhere and sounding like she was having a pretty good time. After the phone call i received from her later in the day on Saturday, i can confirm she had a good time. And she drank wine!!!! I tried her to get her to have wine but nope...damn uni students! hehe :)

Whilst the birthday itself was filled with running around the suburbs of Melbourne with my brother and his fiance looking for shirts, shoes and other bits and pieces for the wedding next Sunday, i was thinking to myself "are you happy to be celebrating your birthday with the family again?" Later in the night the regulars (aunties, cousins etc..) came around and i really had a lovely night. As i have said a million times before i am super lucky to have such a wonderful family and the night was filled with laughs from start to finish. It's hard to explain to people who haven't met my family how fantastic they are (with the exception of Sab who knows my family quite well) and how much warmth there is between everyone. Last night i was surprised by the sight of my Beerlao t-shirts being worn by almost everyone which was a lovely gesture as i wasn't too sure how they would be accepted as christmas presents.

The family with my Beerlao shirts.

It does feel wonderful to have the family close and friends close by but it was hard as well as the people i wanted to celebrate this day with also are so far away. This time around celebrating my birthday back at home was bittersweet in that regard because i know that the people who i love and would love to celebrate with aren't just at my house. They are scattered all over the world and that makes me feel special because birthdays should be special.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Just Shoot Me!!

Whilst sitting on the couch tonight i was watching an episode of the sitcom "Just Shoot Me."

I have enjoyed the show in the past but it isn't in the top three sitcoms of my life.

During the show it reminded me about something. One of the many nicknames i've given Sab in the past is "Maya" as i think she is a dead-ringer for Laura San Giacomo who was the actor who played the character of "Maya" in the show.

What do you think?





Sabs gonna kill me for picking a photo like this ------>

But i like the pose.....

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

When one part of your life is going well...

...the saying goes that another part of your life is suffering.

Tonight i feel like shit. I'm happy that i walked from the local train station to the gym (a hilly 6km) and worked my ass off there for about 90 minutes then walked another couple of kilometers home but tonight i worked superhard at the gym because all that was going on in my head is how much of a shit of day i had at work. Throughout my sets i had a fuel driving me on to push harder because work these days is just not the same anymore. I was thrown in the deep end and forced to learn on the job and i have a pretty good idea of things but as soon as i think i may have a handle on this job, i stuff up...again.

I'm being swamped with accounts that i barely have an idea how they work. I'm making mistakes that i shouldn't be but i'm trying not to fuck up so much i put so much pressure on myself that i fuck up anyway. I'm only a temp and i want to stay on and maybe i'm making more out of it than it is but the fact is i'm feeling tired and mentally exhausted tonight.

I'm concerntrating so much at work looking at faxes and computer screens all day that my eyes have been really sore the past couple weeks. I'm getting my eyes tested on Friday as i'm due for a checkup but they just can't concertrate as much on a screen as they used to and maybe that's affecting the amount of mistakes i'm making.

I hope to stay there past April 30 because its a decent job for what i could get and in March i can finally start saving for another adventure but right now it seemsd like the furtherest thing in the work. I'm going through a rough patch at home because i'm putting too much pressure on myself even though i'm trying not to.

One part of my life sucks at the moment and that means i suck at the moment.

I don't like this feeling.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

People from past shaping your future.

When was the last time a single comment changed your view on life?

For me i can think of three.

1. When i was younger, i was at a book signing for an Australian athlete who said to me to "dream big and enjoy life."

2. In Dalian where our school's head English teacher said to Sab and I "If things get on top of you just remember "F*ck it, it's only a job."

Which leads me to number three.

On Saturday night i was at my aunty's 40th birthday. I was having a lovely night and enjoying the festivities when i happened to run into someone who i had not seen in just over a decade. The person in question was Shaun Bradley. Now to bring you all up to speed, Shaun lived across the road from my uncle and my mum where they all grew up together. My uncle still lives in that house with my aunty and my two cousins. During the night i was mingling with people i hadn't seen in years which included Shaun's parents.

Shaun was also my godfather at my christening.

Don't worry, all this back story leads to something.

Seeing Shaun again was fantastic and he hadn't changed a bit and it was great catching up with him again. As i was talking to him his lovely wife Sam (who i have seen about three times in my life) came over and the three of us started talking about travel. They had just got back from living in New York for 4 years and were settling back into life again in good old Melbourne. Throughout the conversation Shaun had to excuse himself so i was talking to Sam. I started talking about how i loved being away from home and how much i really wanted to travel again. With that Sam said something to me that really hit me between the eyes. "It's great that you want to keep travelling but it sounds like you want to travel everywhere and get it out of your system."

She was 100% right

Sam continues: "Shaun and I have 3 kids and we love to travel. We went to Africa last year and i'm going back to Manhattan for a week and a half to catch up with friends. You don't have to travel everywhere before you settle down because if you love to travel you will find a way how."

With that Sam hit the nail on how i have been feeling for a long time. It seems that travelling to me was a race against time. I had to do it now "while i'm young" (i can't stand that saying) otherwise i won't get the opportunity to do it later in life when the pressures of work and family take over and slowly squash your desire. Shaun and Sam proved to me that if you love something so much that even if your circumstances change, if you still have the desire to do something it doesn't have to be done by a specific time or date.

I know i want to travel and see as much of the world but with what Sam told me on Saturday night, i know now that travelling won't be just one period of my life, i want to be a part of every period of my life.

Finding your home.


Out the front of my home but it's not "my home."
(And yes, i'm getting a haircut on Friday)


At 2 a.m this morning i was standing in the arrivals hall at Melbourne Airport waiting for the doctor to make his entrance. For those who don't know the "doc" is Michael, my mate who came over to Honkers a year and a half ago. He had just spent 2 months in Ireland on a locum (basically a chiropractor for hire) and was really looking forward to coming home. I myself seemed to get the impression that he didn't take advantage of the opportunity given to him over there but that's going by my own way of seeing things plus not knowing what it's like to travel in Europe first hand. I'm not judging his choices but just saying that my perspective is different to Mike's on this issue. It was a learning experience for him and that's fantastic. I'm happy that he is safe and back home and i can catch up with him more from now on. Whilst i was waiting for him, Michael's mum and his girlfriend Beth came and met up with me to greet him.

As you can expect the two most important woman in his life were looking forward to seeing him again as was i. During the time i was waiting for him i was looking around at all the other people in the hall waiting for their special someone. In a moment straight out of the opening shots of "Love Actually" there were tears and hugs and kisses for the people that came through those doors. When Mike came out i was glad that he was alright and he was glad to be home. He was really glad. During the afternoon (as in today) Mike and I had a few drinks and talked about catch up stuff and life. He surprised me a little by saying that he would love to own a house in the East of Melbourne (the nicer side of town). This took me back as i thought to myself "Wow he can really see himself settling down here."

Which leads to my reason for this update. Each of us has to find our own 'home.' Sure we have our families and friends where we grew up but i don't see that as my 'home' because i didn't create it, i was fortunate enough to become a part of my fantastic family. I love East Keilor and the fact that the people i grew up with around the suburb still talk to me whenever i see them at the local supermarket or walking the dog around the streets. I love the house i grew up in and the wonderful wonderful times i have had here but with that experience i know know myself that this isn't my 'home.'

If you think this is a whole "oh he want's to settle down" type of vibe you are wrong. The point i'm trying to make is that Mike feels in himself that Melbourne is home for him and that he would love to travel again only as a holiday. I'm the complete opposite and i with my time in Asia i have come to the conclusion that i can't just be in a place for a holiday and not try it out. My time overseas has opened up my perspective on life and that Melbourne at this time in my life just doesnt feel like home anymore. I'm still searching for my own 'home', the place where i can leave the world behind and find my own safe haven. It may end up being Melbourne, Manchester, Marseille, Milan or Manila but i know my 'home' is out there and until then the search continues.

To me, your home is something you create. You feel it deep down in your being that this is the place you want to be and look forward to coming back to. I have yet to find that place but i'm looking forward to finding it and if i ever do i'll be so damn lucky.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Progress, Anniversaries and Other Stuff

Well the results are in. In 22 days since i started at the gym i have lost 3.4 kgs.

On Jan 1 and the day i started at the gym (Jan 13) i weighed in at 91.4 and this morning i jumped on the scales and saw that i was down to 88! I'm really pleased with my progress thus far and enjoying going to the gym. As i said in my last update, i have negleted my body for far too long and i know this time around that i won't be sliding back into the same old routine of a temporary exercise high followed by a long period of self doubt.

In fact tonight i went to my second spinning class. The first one i went to was about 4 years ago and i thought the whole point of the exercise was to ride for 45 minutes. I myself was so out of shape that afterwards i went straight to bed and slept for 15 hours. I couldnt even change out of the clothes i spun in i was too stuffed. I said to myself "never again" so i came into tonight thinking "just take it easy and see how you go."

45 minutes of hard cycling later, my shirt was drenched in sweat in such a way it was impossible for more sweat to attach itself to any garment so it decided to forma fine film between the hairs on everypart of my body. I was sweating so much that even my headphones were popping out of my ears at regular intervals. the seesion felt at times like someone was stabbing me in my quads with a blunt axe head yet i wanted more..i wanted more sweat..i wanted more pain.

That's the difference this time around. I'm accepting the pain and trying to work with it rather than against it. As crazy as that sounds i can't explain what happened in my head those few weeks ago and the impact it had on me. I feel refreshed and i'm looking forward to more spinning sessions next week.

In other news: I put my foot in my mouth at work a couple of days ago. A new girl joined the team i'm working in on monday and her job is the 2nd in charge of our team. She seemed a bit down on Tuesday so when she said she wasn't coming into work on Wednesday i said a little too enthusiastically "have a great day off".....she was going to a funeral the next day.

My mum and dad celebrate their 33rd anniversary on Saturday. For the people who haven't met them, i can say that they are two of the most amazing people on the planet and even after 33 years together, they still act like a couple of love struck kids.

The dog got a new leash this week. She likes it better than the otherone. How do i know that? Because she doesn't pull on the leash as much as before as this one is a little longer.

I'm 28 next Saturday.

I'm working this Sunday.

Yet i have next Friday off.

That's about it these days. Life just keeps rolling on as the countdown to my brother's wedding seems to be gathering speed everyday. I am really looking forward to the day and if Chris and Narelle plus myself and my future partner can have even a quarter of the happiness of my parents of the past 33 years then we'll be the happiest people on this planet.