My secondary education took place at an all-boys Catholic school. Well theres a story right there but from the years 1991 to 1996 i was a student at one of the highest quality schools in Melbourne and looking back i could have done so much more with my time there. It is hard going through puberty at an all boys school and i wasn't the most comfortable person at school. I always felt a sense of hopelessness with my life and i would now christen that emotion "not knowing what you want to do with your life." Towards year 11 and 12 i thought i had found what i wanted to do (an architect) and i was so focused on getting into the course than when i found out i didn't i blamed the school rather than myself..i could have done more. I didn't. I failed.
My ability to socialise with the opposite sex was curtailed and therefore developed later that what is probably considered normal. I started only in year 11 when i studied geography and tehre was a girl in the class who seemd very nice but i wasn't the most confident with women (i'm still not now when it comes to close intimate relations) so i never pursued her. Another kid in my year level became her squeeze and i just let it go. It was a conflicting time for me at high school because i knew the world was out there but i didn't know where to go.
Still for a long time after i left in 1996 i had a anger towards the school and the years i was there. I thought the school and the kids in my year level weren't nice to me (just in terms of snobbing me) and i just didn't find a real connection to a group of friends. I floated between groups in my time there and the group i ended up with in year 12 i barely speak to these days.
A week after i came home i found out about the reunion and was generally excited. In one part to see the friends i made and see what they are up to now but for the past year my feelings towards St. Bernards had changed. When i left Australia i still had a feeling towards the school of "how come you didn't make me more successful" when i was the only person to blame. I was looking forward to catching up with the guys i knew even from primary school but some of the guys i sort of knew. Last Friday night rolls around and i drove down to the schools football pavillion where it was held. About 40-45 old boys turned up and the night was just brilliant. It seemed no matter what anyone was doing with there lives it was a chance to just forget about life at the moment and enjoy the company of the boys you shared some of the craziest times with.
Sinking back pots and fiddling with finger food, i made my way around the room and caught up with blokes who are now married, have their own house or on a good wicket. I myself right now are far away from that scenario but that doesn't matter. As one guy who i spoke to said "Pep i admire what you have done and you are the only guy i'm dissapointed to keep in contact with after we left." I felt the same and i said to him "Well that's in the past" and with that so were my feelings of resentment. All the old boys got together for a pic (which i'll try and get on here) and belted out a rendidtion of the schools war cry. Before i knew it, it was midnight and time to finish up. A few of the guys kicked on but i had the car and decided to go home instead. I didn't have the cash to go out plus i honestly didn't want to spoil the night by going into a drunken stupor.
For the first time in 10 years i didn't feel resentment because i had gained something much from my time at St. Bernards. It was a feeling of pride of being an "Old Boy."
1 comment:
You know I would have loved to go to a girls school when I was in Highschool. No distractions. I would have done a lot better if I went to a girls school I reckon. Ah well-k sera sera. You wouldn't have the life you have now if you didn't meet me!!!! Sorry.
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