Taiwan - Part Three

Shame we couldn't say the same about the company

Lonely Planet should tell you in its Taiwan guide “if you are planning to work in Taiwan there are only two things you need to take over for a memorable experience. These two things are your passport and some lubricant as I’m sure there will be a time where you’ll have to drop the strides and take one in the name of TESOL Education.”

We just got buttf*cked big time. Talk about a disaster, this may be in bad taste but Sab and I just had our “9/11.” Steve, the chimney smoking yet jovial guide who took us on a tour of Southern Taiwan called us the night before to say that he was picking us up at 11am. So I packed my bags and bid farewell to my little love palace that served as my short yet memorable abode for the past 4 nights. By the way I must say to everyone what I said to Sab, Asian porn stars need to get the Flymo out and trim the private bits as it looks like an overgrown forest down there and not conducive to erotic visual experiences. The stench of cigarette smoke still filled the air as Steve drove Sab and I to a local railway station where he guided us to the ticket window and told us to ask a passenger to tell us when we reached Tainan station. This was not the way a company should greet new employees but we were on their turf so we had to play by their rules.

We were sitting on a suburban train going to a city where no-one was going to pick us but we managed to find our way to a local taxi who took us to Sesame Language School. The school itself was a very “North American-esque” type of facility but that didn’t deter us from working there. We arrived at the school at 12.30 and we found out that our “appointment” with our new head teacher Angela wasn’t until 2. So why were we an hour and a half early? Either way this and sitting on a broken chair and falling straight on my ass was slowly turning the tide of my enthusiasm of being in Taiwan. The only highlight so far was actually getting to a baseball batting cage and having a good swing. It was a lot of fun and due to the major American influence in Taiwan, it was something I was looking forward to participating in on a regular basis.

Sab and I decided to go for a walk where once again we got completely lost. Typical. Then again whilst we were walking down a lane way everything was going fine and then…BANG!! My elbow was really really sore which was due to the silver SUV slamming his side mirror into my funny bone. It freaking hurt! Sab was freaked out by the noise of elbow on car and the stupidity of Asian drivers. They really are that bad. With all this happening even my resolve was being tested. We somehow made our way back to the school (our mobiles were in our bags back at the school) whereby we were greeted by a fellow staff member at the school who plonked two pieces of paper down in front of us. These were our teaching schedules.

We hadn’t talked about contracts, hours, teaching, visas, accommodation…anything and we had to teach at 4.30pm the same day? This was totally unacceptable and when four thick text books were out in front of us the calamity of the situation was taken to greater heights. This was the icing on the cake. Eventually Angela came in and tried to explain to us how the schedule works in the quickest time possible but when we asked more specific questions about how to teach the material the only answer we got was “well you two have experience.” Experience counts for nothing when you start a new job so with that after Angela walked away and let us get on with the task of preparing for our lesson, Sab just looked at me and said as deadpan as possible “Mark if you want to go back just say the word.” For a brief second I thought of Japan but it’s too expensive. I thought of Hong Kong but we had our time there which left home and the only response I gave Sab was “I don’t have my credit card.” “That doesn’t matter if you want to go let’s go.” “O.K. Let’s go.”

Our unbiased view of Tainan an hour after we arrived.

A weight had been lifted off our shoulders and we were genuinely excited about going home. I know we shouldn’t be but deep down inside us I think we were yearning for familiarities of home and not the strangeness of Southern Taiwan. Our minds were made up and I called dad at his work. Sab called her brother and by 3.15 that afternoon, we had said farewell to Tainan and on our way to the capital…Taipei.