The pitter patter of Raindrops

This is how exciting my life is these days.

One of the wonderful things growing up in Australia is terracotta roofs. One of the sounds i love to hear is the sound of rain hitting the roof whilst you are snuggled up in bed. Today in Melbourne it has been raining which is a godsend as we really need the rain. When i left Melbourne was dry but not that bad but now people are showering with buckets, football seasons are being shortened due to the grounds being too dusty, you can't water your garden except for a couple hours a week and people are starting to dob people in if they think they are wasting water. It's pretty bad down here people. I guess that's why at the local 80's night when the band plays a cover of the song "Rain" by Dragon the crowd goes off as one of the lines of the song says "Don't go out in the pouring rain." These days we would if we could.

I was supposed to fill in for our local tennis team tonight but due to the rain, the courts were washed out so the night was called off and the players went home.I actually went to the gym and did a half session tonight and when i got outside it was still raining and even now as i type the pitter patter of raindrops is music to my ears. Tonight was that first night where it was a little chilly so that feeling of getting your feet into your slippers (for me...moccasins) is just devine. With global warming making our planets regular seasons more sporadic that Britney Spears attending rehab it was nice to come home and put the moccasins on and just feel a cool chill in the house.

So going to bed soon, hopefully i'll have the pitter patter putting me to sleep,

Boys and their Toys

I love planes! My face says it all.

WARNING: This blog update talks about things girls don't get.

Ever since i can remember i have always loved planes. Growing up in East Keilor meant living under the approach path for Melbourne Airport and ever since i can remember the sight and sounds of planes has had a mesmerising effect on me. I could be standing out in the middle of the backyard hanging out the washing when the sound of a Qantas Jumbo Jet starts to rumble over our neighbourhood yet even though i have seen that flying kangaroo thousands of times it still an amazing feeling see how such a large piece of machinery can get off the ground. I love airports (except for Macau and the overpriced rubbish food at Saigon Airport) and i have always looked up and thought about the people on those planes above my house and wondered where they are coming from or where they are going to.

So for the past hmmm 10 years now dad I have made our way down to Avalon Airport to see the Australian International Air Show. I didn't go in 2005 but dad was nice enough to send a copy of the programme and a souvinier to Hong Kong which i read from cover to cover. So after a 4 year absence i was back and looking forward to once again looking skyward and seeing the amazing thrill of super fast F/A 18 Hornets fly past us at 1000 kilometers an hour and just listen to the almighty roar when passing through the speed of sound.

I'd love to say i took this pic but i didn't. It's the F-111's classic "Dump and Burn"

The day didn't start off to well as i was feeling a bit seedy from the night before. It was my workmates birthday and a good night was had by all but as much as they wanted me to kick on and continue the party i had to tell them that jets flying past your head isn't the best way to recover from a hangover. So i pulled the plug and went home about 1.30am Sunday morning and we (Dad, Chris and I) were on our way at 8.00am only to find that the morons in the transpoirt deparment had closed 2 of the three lanes of one of the freeways leading to Avalon. What moron would be stupid enough to close two lanes on a day where they know that tens of thousands of people are going to use that road? Obviously Melbourne has the title of worst logistical management city all stiched up.

As we meandered along and i finished digesting a pretty damn fine post party brekky of a couple of Macca's McMuffins, the traffic started to ease up and bit and we were flying towards Avalon. Parking was a bastard this time around as our Gold Passes didn't have their own parking areas like last time which meant we parked with the rest of the plebs. Throughout the day there were plenty of classic planes ranging from the P-51 Mustang....blah blah blah you say. Well i love seeing the fighter jets especially the F-111 and the F/A 18 Hornet. I just love the sound of those engines roaring past (which will be on multiply in the next couple of days) and trying to take photos with a little digital camera is bloody tough. This caused great laughs for Dad and Chris as they were watching me trying to take a picture of a military strike fighter going like the clappers and not getting anything in the shot except a little blurrly thing and sunshine.

What makes it worse is that the plane geeks all around us had massive zooms on their cameras. When i go to the airshow i want me eardrums to be pleading for me to stick anything in them to make the noise go away. I get so excited by the roar of the engines that i think outside of little kiddies and the elderly you should try and appreciate the sounds of these massive engines.Then again i didn't wear headphones like this guy. He's soft in my books...very soft.

Soft.

During a small walk around the backlot i got close up with helicopters and some of the larger American aircraft which leads me to my next point. At these airshows there is a strong American contingent as they provide "for our viewing pleasure" some of the world's most technologically advanced aircraft. With that they also have someone (usually part of the flight crew) talking about the plane and the demonstration that the plane will be showing the public. During the display of the F-15 Eagle the commentator talked about how in "Desert Storm" (the first one) the F-15 shot down 46 enemy aircraft. What got me about that is two things. 1) He said in such a way that it was a magnificent achievment but mate..you were fighting the Iraqi's which the last time i checked...didn't have the strongest airforce in the world. That's like pitting a Formula One car against a Lada in a drag race! 2) Even at the Airshow we couldn't get away from American flag waving. When the commentator talked about "all the brave men and women fighting the continuing war on terror" I just wanted to slap him and i think a fewof the crowd did as well.

Still at the end of the day and after trying to take too many photos and getting sunburnt, the three of us had a great day. It was great to be back at the Airshow and once again i camr away with the feeling of how much i love planes. Sure i don't think i'll have a private jet like John Travolta or have the chance to fly in the cockpit of an F/A 18-E Super Hornet but given half the chance i would jump at the chance. Flying to me means you are going somewhere, you are moving forward.

I like that feeling.

Shit of a Day

When you start eating dinner with a knife and spoon..you've had a shit day.

When you are asked to fill up the coffee jar and you fill up the enitire cup you are going to use to make your mother with coffee..you've had a shit day.

When an Indian bottle shop owner blasts you for 10 minutes on the phone for something that you have no control over...you've had a shit day.

When the traffic backs up so bad on the freeway you have to wait till you get a green light on the freeway on ramp before you can get on the freeway proper..you've had a shit of a day.

When you can't say your name properly, spill water on the staff newspaper, have no motivation to go to the gym because socks you picked up have a hole in the toe, you can't figure out what to make for dinner and just want the world to pass you by as you stick your head in the sand..then you've had a shit of a day.

I'm off to bed, i need an early night.

She's such a groovy lady.

There are mystical forces in the world and i know that for sure. Some people call it karma, some call it faith and some have no idea what it's called. It's a feeling that higher forces are playing their part in your life. I came across a little of this feeling yesterday on the drive home from work. As soon as i left the car park i couldn't get across into the lane that would take me onto the freeway and home in about 25 mins. I actually had to go through the city centre and north of the city to actually get where i wanted to go (the discount petrol station). It took me 45 minutes to get home last night but that's beside the point.

The point is that i found myself stuck in traffic behind a tram just looking around and there it was. A place that i have gone past probably hundreds of times but have never seen. As soon as i saw it i had to get my camera out of my bag to get a photo of this. This was momentous but my zipper was stuck (the bag not my pants) and i couldn't get the camera out. The traffic ahead was starting to move and my camear finally came out and somehow i opened it and took this picture.


Now to pretty much everyone except Sab this pic is a blurry pic of a "Cafe Nervosa" that shows two things. 1) My camera work isn't the best and 2) It's the name of the cafe in "Frasier." But this pic is so much more. It's a picture of a place in a show that Sab and I both love. We have had millions of laughs thanks to Frasier and sometimes we see our friendship as Frasier and Roz. Actually we really are Frasier and Roz and if you're not a real fan of the show then you won't know what i'm talking about. Well if you have seen the two of us in action then maybe you have. We just get along so well that many people have said "why don't you two get married?"

It's hard for me to explain the meaning of this pic but if you have a friend that is so close to you, someone who you share so many adventures with, who can tell what you are thinking, then you know what i'm talking about. I really miss Sab and seeing this sign made me feel both happy because of all the laughs we shared but sad because we aren't sharing them now. She's such a groovy lady (hehe i had to use it) and i just miss not having her here.

So for you Sab here are some of our classic Frasier moments...just for us.

Spicks and Specks

When i had my little mental breakdown in January one of the reasons was due to my physical state which in reality was sinking back into my pre leaving Australia days. Ever since that night i have committed myself to becoming as fit and healthy as possible. It has been a wonderful 10 weeks of sweat and sorness but the results are showing and i'm actually going to do a 4 km fun run on April 1 which all the proceeds go to Melbourne's Royal Children's Hospital. Well since i floated this idea i have had nothing but support but now i'm not the only person doing this fun run as mum and dad have decided to "Run for the Kids" as well.

I must say that i am delighted that they are actually deciding to join in and not just because its a good cause. The three of us have sometimes let our healty lifestyles suffer due to the pressures of work and just everyday life but the three of us have drawn a line in the sand and we will do this together. Now seen that this is my first run i'm not going out to set records but just go for a nice leisurely jog around the course and soak up the atmosphere of the day. We also decided to get the official race shirts so there will be some photots to see from that day in a couple weeks.

On Thursday night my team leader at 'Company X' informed me that my contract has been extended for six months so now i'm employed till the end of november which is a huge relief as the work is alright but the staff are really nice. Last night we went out for a few drinks at a pub in the city (Transport @ Fed Square) and before i knew it i was heading home at 2.30 Saturday morning. I'm enjoying hanging out with my workmates outside of work and getting to know them outside the office. With me having a good night last night i wasn't feeling or looking the best when i got my haircut this morning at 10am. Still that icky feeling subsided when i went to Target to buy new workpants. Ah the joys of wearing smaller sizes.

I'm trying to make life in Melbourne more exciting by thinking of doing different things. I actually would like to meet new people and try new things and now that i have stability at work till the end of the year i can now focus on getting more variety areas in my life including romance (which right now is empty, so that can only go up), self fulfilment (my long delayed radio dream) and writing my travel book. I know if i stop bitching about how life in Melbourne can be mundane because its home then my outlook will improve from the up and down temprament that has been going on inside my head since i landed. It's not the travelling lifestyle that i crave everytime i see a Qantas jumbo fly over our house but i have to make my time in Melbourne mean something.

Whilst Sydney is sleeping peacefully on the chair next to me, i'm thinking about how much of a support she really is. Everytime i come home she runs up the hallways and jumps up on me. She sleeps on my bed and follows me everywhere around the house. After i came back from my Nana's house (she's getting too old to give her house a good vacuum so i went over to help her) i took Syd over to the local footy oval and let her off the leash and just watched her run around without a care in the world.

So with the Australian Grand Prix on tomorrow my backside will be couchside (after my gym and one hour spinning class in the morn) and looking forward to the first race of the F1 season. Much like the scratch ticket i purchased Thursday night, my life is getting better by the day and whilst its not perfect (i was one number off winning an instant $150,000) it is improving.

It's in the Stars

The only decent pic i could find of Athena Starwoman.

I've always had a small interest in astrology. To some people it's all a bunch of rubbish about predicting finding the love of your life and being insanely rich but then again isn't that why most people read them anyway? Most days when i'm reading the paper i'll have a small read of my star sign (which is Aquarius) i'll read what the astrological svengali has to say and dismiss it as fast food astrology. You know the type, the astrology which is good for a small fix but it's nothing meaty or meaningful in the context of finding out wether i'm going to be rich or find a hot bird with all the right curves, moves and personality.

I must admit i'm one of those people who do the "Ahh" at the end of the usual exchange of information when the topic of astrology comes up...example:

"What star sign are you?"
"Aquarius...you"
"I'm a Gemini"
"Ahhh"

Now that "Ahh" is the sound of you thinking you know what the other persons complete astrological make up is but you have no idea at all. The reason i'm talking about all this is that on my overflowing bookshelf i came across a book i purchased on special yet never looked at which goes by the complexing title of "Zodiac." This book is written by Australia's formost astrologer Athena Starwoman who for many years in one of the weekly womens mags cast her astrological eye over the nation and dispenced her very own blend of news both good and bad to a curious nation of housewives, grandmothers, gossip groups and sometimes me.

Looking at this book i started reading about Aquarius (of course) and was surprised at what could be described as pretty darn accurate characteristics of my own personality. Here are 7 pearls of wisdom from Athena about the Aquarias male with my own little thoughts about them attatched as well.

1) He may have many mates, good friends, associates and close contacts in his life, and he often enjoys these relationships immensely, on a social superficial level than rather on a close intensley personal one. Very true, i do have a lot of freinds but most of them don't know half the stuff going on inside my head due to the next reason.

2) While there may be many times he wishes he could share his real thoughts and the private aspects of his world with others, it is unlikely that many can ever enter or share his private space. There have been millions of times i just want to burst out and tell the world what i'm feeling but afraid that no one will understand me or just shake their head and say "freak."

3) Women number among some of his greatest friendships. Sab, Cass, Candace, Mart, Louise, Nikki, Carly ..need i say more.

4) He is totally different from other men, so operates with a different set of criteria in every department of his life. I'm a guy but i've never been a "guy's guy" so for better or worse i'm not sure but i ain't gonna change.

5) His patience, tolerance and amiability give the impression he's tranquil to the core, but his behaviour rarely reflects what's really going on beneath the surface. I do keep a lot of stuff bottled up inside that only very few people are aware of.

6) He treats everyone with the same amount of respect, curiosity and ease, and people who normally uncomfortable with strangers respond to him like a long lost friend. I do have something that makes meeting new people pretty easy for me and i like that. People who i have met and people who i have known for years all stay on the same level of respect, curiosity and ease unless they piss me off and when i'm pissed off i get really really pissed off.

7) It is easy for him to offend or upset others. Oh bugger me where does this list begin???

I was going to do 10 but i was getting tired. There's also a lot of other stuff about love, career, family, spiritual and other bits and pieces but it's all too long and boring for you guys to read. I read most of Sab's info (Aries) and she and i agreed that both of our astrological profiles had some substance to their words.

So the question has to be asked....what star sign are you?

Cheerio Moto!

It seems me and mobile phones are not destined to be freinds.

On Saturday morning, my Motorola RAZR which has served as a very useful phone for just under two years decided to shat itself and finally decide to update me with my messages. For 5 minutes late that morning all my house heard was the repeated strains of Michigan J Frog start to sing "Hello my Baby" as 9 messages decided to finally come through to my phone. For those not in the know Michigan J Frog is the frog in the Looney Tunes cartoon who is a tenor but doesn't sing in front of people. It's one of my top three cartoons ever.

Now im with Optus and have been for a few years and actually worked for them for 6 months before i left Australia. Now there network coverage should be pretty good yet when i really want to speak to people my phone decides to drop the call, make me lose my voice and still hear the other person talk or say it sent messages but the other person never received them. It could be network trouble but my Moto was on the way out. It needed charging everynight, the alarm would sometimes forget to work (not because of me) and generally it had just about had enough scratches and marks on it to make a Jerry Springer brawl look tame by comparison.

So Sunday morning i ventured down to Optus to pick up a half decent phone and i was amazed at the variety of phones you can buy. You can get internet, 3G, WAP, video calls and live TV but all i wanted was a phone. I never really used my phone camera on my other phone but i do have some nice pictures from my time in Hong Kong which i'll keep. In terms of wanting to keep up with the latest trends and be at the forefront of mobile technology i'll pass. All i wanted was a phone to call people when needed and to send messages to people...but the guy at the store wanted me to join a plan because i can get Google on a new Nokia if i go on a $50 a month plan over 24 months. Now considering i don't want to be here for 24 months and i don't want to surf the net on my phone i understand his need to upsell but please...

I'm on prepaid and i like it that way.

I purchased a new Samsung slider phone for $100 which has a camera and other stuff i will never use but its the closest thing to a regular mobile phone without the wanky techno stuff to impress other people with. "Oh look.I can listen to 1000 songs, surf the net, watch tv and order dinner." We don't have mobile phones anymore we have mobile entertainment units that just happens to have a phone function tacked on it as well.

Is Multiply going to simplify or just multiply my simple life?

Someone once said "Go forth and multiply" and they did.

I've decided to multiply as well and join well... Multiply.

I didn't want to at first but due to a stubborn Candace and a small selling session by Sab i've decided to shut them up and join.

My address there is pepfest.multiply.com

There you will see a lot more pictures, videos and other stuff that this blog can't do.

Don't go there just yet as there is only a pic of me and that's all but give me time and i'll keep you all entertained but when theres enough stuff to see, i'll keep all 8 of you posted.

Out and About

With the events of the past few days on my mind, I decided friday night that I was going out no matter what. Like that famous scene from the movie '"Network" I was as mad as hell and i' wasn't going to take it anymore. I needed to get out of the house, my work hours have been all over the place I have had too many nights in and just haven't had the desire to leave home and that's not me people. That's not good for anyone. I like my quiet time but if i have too much of it I lose my sence of belonging and i'm a freakin people person!!!!

Altering my plans of going to the gym and then going out later with Mike, I ended up having a few drinks after work down at headquarters with a few of the guys who had finished work earlier that day. I was going to continue with them to another pub but had already promised Mike I would go with him to a local bar. That fell through which cheesed me off but I was determined so the call went out to about three or four people until I got a hold of my freind Louise who was heading to the same bar i was so i decided to tag along with her.

As well as Lou her brother Simon was there as well. He attended the same high school as me but a was a year ahead and it's always good to see these two together as they are the closest brother / sister combination i have ever seen. I actually met Lou when i was working at a bottle shop a few years ago and she was working at the bakery just out the front of our shop. We both used to work Sundays and i would waddle over and have a chat with Lou and pick up a chocolate crossaint in the process. We have kept in contact and even though sometimes we go a bit long between catch ups she still is a dear friend.

Then again as we were on the way to pick up her cousin Christine she told me about the people she had given nicknames for who are regulars at the friday 80's night. These names include "Retro" ( a guy who loves the 80's like no other and dances in a way i've never seen before. The next time i go i'll get footage) "Pedro" (who once wore a 'Vote for Pedro' t-shirt) "Whitney" ( because i think this girl chucked a tanti Whitney Houston diva style once) and other names that the fullness of time has made me forget. Get me on a dancefloor with anything playing from the 80's (with the exception of Nelson) and i'm pretty much dancing away. So when the band (whose lead singer is on a 5 week hiatus in Adelaide and whose replacement whilst very good just doesn't have the same showmanship as the original singer) started belting out 80's classics such as "Electric Dreams", "Jessies Girl" "Take on Me" "Send me an Angel" and the show stopper "Rain" the world around me just drifted away and i was injected with synthesised beats and fluid bass lines. I get down on myself a lot and the only reason is that i over think things and i forget that life is meant to be lived..not thought out.

After the band finished about 1a.m. i found myself talking to Lou's cousin Christine. She had lived overseas for a year in Japan teaching and i was really interested in how she found the experience. It was three years ago that she came back but just finding out how different people dealt with it always helps me reach my own conclusions. i'm hoping that i'll be out with these guys at the Cubby House once again very soon as when i fell into bed at about 4am Saturday morning i though to myself that nights like this have been a little slim recently and i'm not going to take that anymore.

It's too quiet

Coming home tonight from my cousins birthday i noticed something in my street that i have never really notices before. It was quiet. Actually it was really really quiet and i was surprised at how quiet the street was.

On the lighter side...

Don't you love it when you put your pants on and 5 seconds later they are around your ankles again? No i'm not talking about former President of the United States Bill Clinton but as i got ready for work today i put my work pants on only to find that my tummy has receded so much that i don't have enough belly anymore to keep them up! I was rapt as i have been working my flabby butt of at the gym and eating like a human rabbit but i'm seeing results and i want more..more more!!! I wan't more weight to fall, inches to waste away and those things called...umm what are they called again..muscles to come out (but not in a freaky way like the freaky gym freaks at the gym) and to run without feeling like i'm going to die after 500 meters.

Also a couple days ago i received the coolest birthday present ever from Sab. Sure it was belated but the love was felt as she put together an amazing photo album and a little video for me to watch. I came home from the gym to find a package waiting for me and as soon as i opened it mum got her hands on the album first and just started to make this happy about to cry sound. I was taken aback by the amount of work Sab put into this and i really do miss her. I have my friends here but she's such an integral part of my life that there are things i want to do in Melbourne that i know that she would love to do with me but no one else is interested. I called her afterwards and just wanted to thank her so much for this wonderful gift.

I really miss having her around.

It's not you...i know it's me.

"Lately I'm a desperate believer
But I'm walking in a straight line"
As sung by Silverchair

I'm one fucking stubborn bastard.

That got your attention didn't it?

But why the naughty words this time around? Because well like the lyrics at the top of the page i am a desperate beleiver and i'll tell you why. Now before i get into this i just want to say that what you read is not criticism of anyone except myself.

I'll probaby get lynched for writing this.

Two nights ago i was talking to Martine and matter of factly she said she met a guy on the weekend. Well i have to say now that i am happy for her and i wish nothing but the absolute highest amount of happiness in her life as i wish for all who reads this. It took me by surprise in a way and in a way it shouldn't have. Let's look at the facts people it was 2005 when it finished and i didn't get it through my head for a long time afterwards that what i thought could happen wouldn't happen. I've said this to people close to me...my biggest weakness / character flaw is hope.

I try and look at the positive of everything even when reality tells me otherwise. With Mart i was so cut up about how things eventuated but the fact is life moves on. I still consider her a very important person to me even though there are days where i feel i want to just cut all ties with her because of how things panned out but that's the weaker option and it's just not who i am. Did i feel angry at her at anytime? Yes there were times in my mind i would ask "Why this" or "Why that" but i was more angry in myself because as i have said before i self analyse to the point of depression events that i have no control over.

And while to most readers it seem all i talk about is her (much like Jon Favreau in "Swingers") i have to admit that well i'm over it. I'm over this whole shitstorm that has been going on in myself because i'm too stubborn to accept reality but i have and i'm finding direction again. Everyone has their journey in life to accomplish and we all have our own dreams in life and whilst my dreams have conflicted with my own personal direction, i realise it's a learning experience that i had to go through. What matters is happiness inside and moving on in life cause for a while..i was stuck in the mud of my own critical assesment of who i am.

As i said i still consider Mart to be a truely beautiful person who i look forward to many years of friendship in the future. I still know in myself i'll always look for the positive in everyhing and i know that my life is starting to find it's purpose again as if it's waking up from a coma and looking for a personality overhaul. You know when you get to a point and you just say to yourself "why you so down when you have so much to give?" That was me today.

For a long time i didn't stop to look at the world around me and take in how lucky i am.

Writers Block

I'm frustrated.

No not like the last time i used those words and had a mental breakdown but something inside of me always keeps throwing up roadblocks when i want to sit down and write about the time i had away. I kept a pretty good record of my adventures away and i feel that i have to do this. I have received many positive sentiments in relation to my emails that i used to send and well not as much with the blog. Seems that long lines of text are more entertaining that long lines of text with pictures!

Still late last year when i was on the late shifts at work i found my self with the urge to write. That's my problem. When it comes to me writing something (and i know i'm not that bad at the craft) i just can't sustain the energy to sit and go through all the emails and details i sent during my adventure. I need to feel in the moment...in the zone..i need to have the desire to write.

So one night last year i wrote the preface to this long running internal saga that is this dream of mine to write a book. Should i continue with it? I don't know. I want to.

Anyway here it is.

G'Day Folks.

If you have picked this book off the shelf from your local bookstore whilst in the middle of browsing for Jamie Olivers new book, thanks for stopping. I may not be able to compete with Jamie when it comes to your spending dollar but if you would rather read about how to make supposidly "easy to cook meals" rather than how i was being hit on by a Thai transvestite at two in the morning then please..make your way to the cooking section now.

If you are reading this paragraph you will have to wait a little longer for that story as that happens later on in my adventures. Many family and friends have referred to my time away from Australia as a "holiday" but i hated that idea. To me a holiday is a temporary break from the life you live at home and i didn't want my time away to have a"temporary" feel to it. Sure you may have a blast overseas and visit magical places and experience the local hospitality but at the end of the day how much of the experience seeps into your soul? How much impact does being away from home for an extended period of time affect your outlook on the world, the people you meet, your friends and even your family?

I didn't take a holiday from my life in Australia, i wanted to leave it behind. I was unhappy at work, unfit, low in confidence and trying to figure out what i wanted to do with my life. I still don't have much of an idea but the past two and a half years gave me ideas of who i might want to be and that's progress.

I came back to Australia wanting to continue the momentum i built up overseas but also wanting to write down the definitive story of a time in my life where the world asked me questions about myself and allowed me to experience wierd and wonderful things.

The information for this book came from the many emails i sent, the many blogs i posted and general chats with Sabrina and other people involed in this amazing journey i was lucky to experience. I'm writing this as much for Sab as myself as we both want to look back years from now and actually smile when we ask ourselves "Was it all worth it?"

All in all i think its a good story and hopefully you think is too and if you are reading this at a hostel somewhere in Asia...don't swap me for a copy of the DaVinci Code please!!.

Thanks Guys.

Just like Uncle Sam : I Need You!!

I decided to update the blog a little differently today. Rather than type all about it...just watch the clip. By the way... i did wait for two hours but that's what you do for your neighbours around here.

I promise...actually i can't promise.

When my time comes to an end on this fragile planet whenever that may be, i'm sure i wouldn't have caused great waves of sorrow or reasons to write long articles about the importance of my life. I'm a pretty easy going person, in fact i say to people that i'm so easy going i'm one step up from a coma patient.

Yet as i sit here tonight drinking red wine and listening to the end of the Belinda Carlisle CD with my third glass of red i find myself just thinking about myself. This is who i am, i love Belinda and this new album. Sure my musical taste and knowledge can be outweighed by someone like RainMan but tonight has been very easy going. This album is for me and me alone, no one will appreciate it as much as i do. Somehow the gorgeous Belinda makes it work and i'm a sucker for it, just like i'm a sucker for a new Bond film, a chicken parma, a few drinks with friends or women who make me laugh.

Sometimes in life you get caught up in the shitstorm around you that you forget to take time out for yourself and enjoy things that make you happy. Gulity pleasures you might say but listening tonight ot the rest of the album with a glass of red, i felt that for a brief moment i was in my own private universe.

As for the promise of never mentioning Belinda Carlisle on this blog ever again, i can't promise that though it will be a while before i mention her name again.

Knowing yourself.

My babies..who are now 11 and 10. Man they grow up so fast!

Today i was thinking about just how my life has panned out since i got back and i must say it has been a very positive experience being back home and it has allowed me to reflect on where i have been and where i want to go in the near future. Now when i mean reflect i don't mean my usual "analyse from every perceivable angle" but just take a few moments to realise that being back at home has been getting better by the day. I celebrated Christmas, New Year, my birthday and was able to be part of the buildup to the wonderful wedding of Chris and Narelle.

By the way these are my Aunty's kids in the pic...

I looked back some of my updates since i got back and i know i suffered from reverse culture shock but i'm way over that now. I am looking forward to travelling again but i don't have the feeling that my time will pass if i don't get out straight away. My determination to travel is still at 100% but the desperation to get out has slowly been overcome by the feeling of patience. I know what i have to do to travel again and i know where i want to go and the feelings of getting ready to organise another trip away are slowly starting to come to the surface.

I was in a book store (there's something new) and i saw the Lonely Planet Guide to Europe. As i walked past it i thought to myself "Not just yet..not just yet" where as a couple of months ago i wouldn't even have looked at which is a good thing. The feeling i'm having now is a feeling of transition. A feeling of letting go of the adventures and the life i had in Asia for 2 1/2 years but holding onto the memories and friendships. Today i found myself looking toward the future again and thinking that i have a huge mountain to climb before i get to travel again but i know in a few weeks i'll start to get ideas into place for my next adventure.

My time back home has given me that buffer between my time away and my next adventure. Just by being with my family has made me realise that home will never change and while i thought that was the worst thing that could happen when i got back, i now know it is the best feeling ever because my family and the love and admiration we have for each other will never change. Last Sunday was my Aunty Laurell's birthday party. Her actual birthday was a week before but it fell the day before the wedding so we decided to delay the party. I picked her up from Werribee (which is about 35 mins drive from home) and we had a lovely chat in the car. I'm pretty lucky in the fact that i can talk to everyone in my family and know that i have no reason not to be honest and direct without the discussion boiling over.

Throughout the time i have been back and the numerous parties we have had for a little while i felt out of place because i had the opportunity to experience such wonderful things that i didn't know how i would fit in. I'm 28 but i'm still one of the kids of the family and even though when i got back i wanted to get rid of that tag i now know i don't want to. I love sitting with my Grans and Aunties having a cup of tea and just talking about whatever comes to our heads. It was sitting at the table out the back on a sunny Sunday afternoon that i realised that any feelings of culture shock, uncomfortableness ( i know i've spelt that wrong) and confusion in myself in terms of my life were gone. I'm not back in Melbourne biding my time but slowly working towards my next goal.

Replacing those feelings were happiness to be with my family, confidence in my decisions in the near future and the knowledge that when i am ready to plan for my next adventure, i'll be doing it not to continue on from the adventure that had just finished but begin afresh with a blank canvas and once again fill it with new memories and experiences.

I'm feeling pretty good...but i'm not ready...yet.

She's a hard one to find!!

Ahh the early 90's. Fashion sure was at its peak. I still love her though.

The search for Belinda Carlisle's new album has been harder than i thought. I visited my local record store last week yet there were only a couple copies of her very poor so called "Best of" albums.

During the week i have been starting later in the day so i went to my local mega mall and searched the records stores for no success.

Until...

Once again my gorgeous godmother Auntry Rhonda was in the city and messaged me that she was in town for a meeting and would check out the stores in the city to see if there are any copies left. She managed to pick up sone of the only three copies in a chain of stores that has about 30 stores in Melbourne,

So come saturday when i drop off some DVD's to Aunty i'll finally get the chance to sit down and have Belinda serenade me in French.

Heaven on Earth

Everyone has childhood crushes. Some last a moment, a week, a month or even a year but my childhood crush has lasted about 18 years. It wasn't some girl at school who really took my fancy before i even know what took my fancy meant. It wasn't some girl who i met outside of school. Come to think of it there was one girl i never met but i remember seeing in this distance at a swimming pool on summer holidays. My family was holidaying up the north of Victoria (Yarrawonga to be exact) when whilst walking towards the pool for a swim i saw this girl on the top of the diving board. I must have been about 10 and i'm thinking she was 12.

The sun was setting behind her and she was wearing a white shirt that just seemed to make her look angelic. She dived in and i was breathtaken by that image. I can still see this girl on top of the divingboard about to jump in. For those few seconds time stood still. I must admit (as you all know i'm sure) that moments like that don't come along very often where time stands still. Childhood crushes can be silly things but they leave an indeliable mark on your adult perspective.

My childhood crush has been and always will be Belinda Carlisle.

I've loved her since i was about 10. When i first heard "Heaven is a place on Earth" i just loved that song and i wanted to find out who was the person who sang with that amazing voice. One night whilst watching MTV Australia (which at the time was a 3 hour show on a Saturday night) i remember seeing this music video and thinking..."She is sooo beautiful." (Remember i was 10 years old on the floor in front of the TV just amazed at these images on my screen)

Here's the video in question:




When i first saw this video i was in love. There was something about her voice, her eyes, the way she looked at the camera as if she was singing to me and me only. So througout my teenage years where supposidly your musical interests vary and you find what music appeals to you i found out that Belinda's music still makes me smile inside even now 18 years after i first heard it. Sure i may be not be a musical powerhouse and i don't follow the latest trends in music a lot but that's me for better or worse. Belinda was left such an impression that when i heard that she was coming to Australia a few years ago for a 80's concert i leapt at the chance to see her. Sab came with me and i must say it was one of the best concerts i've ever been to. Not only because of the music but because i finally got to see Belinda sing live. I was in heaven that night even though Sab commented "Is she pregnant?" as Belinda came on stage that night.

Which leads me to today. I worked today so i had yesterday off which means at work there are about 50 emails waiting to be read. One of them was from my lovely Aunty Rhonda who in a one line email got me so excited i had to read the message again:

Is it Belinda Carlisle that you love? If so, she has a new cd out called Voila. If not, forget about this email.

I was shocked. Not by Aunty Rhonda knowing i love Belinda, that's an open secret in my family. Belinda hasn't released an album in over 10 years. This was monumental in my universe. She did a Johnny Depp and moved to France! She got away from the pressures of living in America and all the stories of drugs and weight problems. She got away from her solo career being compared to her career with the girl band the "Go-Go's." Searching on Google whilst at work i found out her new record is entirely sung in French! So needless to say i'll be off to JB Hi-Fi in the morning to see if it is avaliable and if i do get the chance to catch a few seconds alone with Belinda serenading me then i'll know my childhood crush will last a few years longer.

Welcome to Rockyland!

Rocky Balboa. Cinematic Icon.

About 15 minutes ago i arrived home from my local cinema (Hoyts @ Highpoint) where i have seen many groundbreaking films ranging from the first Batman film, Forrest Gump, Casino and i have even seen a punchup in the cinema between a couple of patrons during the screening of 'Kindergarten Cop' but tonight was a special night for me at the local cinema.

I must admit you the readers do not appreciate how much i love the Rocky Balboa films. Sure i've talked about them and seen them all many times before but you don't understand how much i really enjoy the films and how they tie into my life and the memories they have given me. When i think about the Rocky films i think about Michael and Daniel, my two good mates who have an equal love for the films as i do. Since we are all fans of Stallone's films (yes even such classics as 'Oscar' and 'Copland') tonight was a special night as it was the first time we had all gone to see a Rocky film together.

It's with 100% certainty that if the three of us get a few drinks into us then one of us will pull out an obscue Rocky quote which will lead to another and another and the conversation will snowball from there. These films about a boxer whose speech is slurred yet somehow manages to conquer the odds no matter how impossible they are have been one of the conerstones of the friendship between the three of us. Sure i had already seen the film 4 times already at home (thanks to a bloke at work and his access to recently released movies) and i knew what was going to happen but when that Rocky music started playing and the training sequence hit the screen, the half full cinema semi-clapped because they knew as i did, what they were seeing was in reality an impossibility yet the film still managed to make you think with your heart and not your head.

I had watched the 5 previous films in 2 weeks because I felt i had to watch them again to be prepared to march into the cinema and know exactly what was going on. This film showed Rocky more as a man rather than the superhuman protein enhanced genetic freak that is the conerstone of Rocky's III and IV. The three of us were sitting there having a few drinks in the cinema and just glued by what was going on in front of us on the big screen. To those who think Sylvester Stallone is a one dimensional actor you are wrong. OK granted he's no Lawrence Olivier, Robert DeNiro or Merryl Streep ( anyone who can go from Kramer vs. Kramer to Evil Angels deserves a mention) yet with the Rocky films Stallone knows what works for him and after the commercial and critical failure of Rocky V he knew this time around that all the people that watch the film want is the chance to enjoy the story of a man against the odds.

And everyone loves an underdog.

By the end of the film the feeling that the impossible was possible once again filled my sences and i was just thankful that i had the chance to see the final chapter of a 30 year cinematic journey on the big screen.

I was happy that i got the chance to see it with my friends.

A perfect day (Photos to come in the next few days)

"Time goes by...so slowly"
"Time goes by...so slowly"

If any lyrics to a relationship could tell a story, these words would describe the relationship between Chris and Narelle.

Sunday was the wedding we had all waited a decade for and I'm going to state this right now.

Sunday was one of the happiest days of my life.

The day started with me under an alcoholic fitness cloud from Stav's 30th birthday the night before yet the whole family made its way down to St. Martins Church to pray for a nice day ahead and also pray for a change in the weather as the temperature on Sunday was a pleasant 38 degrees with winds but a late change was expected. With that forecast, the desire to wear my very handsome tailor made suit wavered a little but i put the strongest B.O. spray on me that's legal in the Australia market (one step below liquid nitrogen) and hoped with the 4.p.m. start to the ceremony that the cool change will have made it over the beautiful St. Kilda Botanical Garderns.

For someone who was about to celebrate one of the most important days of his life, Chris was very relaxed. Today was the start of a journey as a married couple yet after being together for 10 years the wedding was more of a confirmation of their love for each other than a step into the unknown. After the family got back from church, mum was getting her hair done at the local hairdresser (who was nice enough to open the store just for mum) whilst Chris and myself started playing Guitar Hero on Playstation 2. Man that game is so addictive!! Dad made a nice bacon and egg (i had bacon and sausage) rolls for brekky and the three of us actually found some time to sit on the couch and watch a bit of the cricket.

A little later in the morning Chris' best mate (whose name is also Chris..for this update he'll be known as Chris M) and co best man made his way around. The three of us sat on the couch, watched more cricket and as the minutes went by the atmosphere in the house was starting to build. Mum came home and looked fabulous then was off again to get her makeup done. I had to run over to Narelle's house to get something for the flowers (mum did the flowers with her friend Jenny and they just looked so amazing. My mum is a genuis when it comes to flowers) as they were getting their makeup done much to the dissapointment of Chris who wanted to get one quick look at the bride to be.

About lunchtime the photographer came as i was still getting changed into my suit and i must say that suit felt like gold on me and i just love it. I looked the best i have for a long long time and i was really going to have a blast on this special day. After many photographs around the house it was time for me, Chris, Chris M, Dad and Narelle's sisters husband Davide (he's from Italy so the e stays on the end of the name) to squeeze into his car for the journey down to the St. Kilda Botanical Gardens. It waqs bloody hot in that car with 5 guys squashed in it but we made it and despite the drought and a stinking hot day, the Rose Garden looked sensational and it was a beautiful setting for this beautiful wedding.

At this time i have to say that Chris has found a wonderful wonderful wife in Narelle. They compliment each other so well and she is a pleasure to be around. I said in my speech which i don't know how i got one out considering it was so bloody hard to come up with the words that as individuals they are fantastic yet as a couple they are amazing and that everyone of the guests was so glad to have these two wonderful people in their lives. It really was magical to see the pure joy in Chris' face as Narelle walked down the isle (with a Norah Jones song playing i'm pretty sure) looking absolutely stunning. It's hard to describe what i felt actually except pure joy. The setting was perfect, the crowd were all waiting as Narelle and her sisters (Karen and Belinda) came to the gardens in a white Rolls Royce and all i can say about the ceremony is...perfect.

After the ceremony it wa time for hundreds of photos around the park and at the beach where the sight of a wedding party making its way between hoards of hairy guys in budgie-smugglers and kids eating ice creams from the Mr Whippy van with no clothes on (oh those days are long gone for me sadly) was a sight to behold and luckily just as we got back inside the reception centre, the rain started tumbpling tumbling down. There were about 90 guests at the reception and our great mate and ex next door neighbour Leigh had the honour of introducing the bridal party to the group. When my turn came up, i was introduced as follows "and with Karen is Mark 'The Love Machine' Pepper..and yes ladies..he's single).....bloody smartass. It was all in good fun though and now all those 90 people know me now as "The Love Machine."

The food and ther service was sensational at the fantastic Sails by the Bay on Elwood Beach (yes it was on the beach with a beautiful view over Port Phillip Bay). After the introductions and the entree the speeches were given and a lot of people have said they were the best speeches they have heard at a wedding. I'll try and get some clips of the day in the near future. The rest of the food was sensational and the dancefloor was full all night long. The band were sensational and the singer was so good, a few people thought there was a CD playing instead of someone singing. One of Chris' footy mates danced with my Gran and a little later on (due to fatigue and alcohol) Chris and I did a bit of a brokeback dance for no reason whatsoever. Chris also took centre stage and belted out a couple of his favourite numbers; those being "Crocodile Rock" and "Mustang Sally." Narelle was walking around chatting with everyone and i caught her seeing her new husband on stage singing away to the crowd and the look on her face said "That's my man!"

The night was filled with so much laughter and happiness and before i knew it it was midnight and time to finish up. I had the most wonderful day and i was so glad that every little detail of the planning worked to perfection. Months and months of planning went into the day and even though there were times where it seemed that something wouldn't work out right the day went off without a hitch.

As i said....a perfect day.